Fantasy is a very normal and healthy part of sex for both men and women. Sometimes a fantasy can lead to better sex, but that fantasy needs to be enjoyed by both and not just the fantasy of one person.

When you have a fantasy, one of the best parts is you can go as far as you want, you can enjoy it as much as you let yourself and at the same time your fantasy lover or lovers share that experience with you.

A fantasy has no repercussions because it is all in your mind. You can get really turned on by your fantasy and it will get you going, your heart racing and it will be so real you hope to try it. But the chances of doing that are not that good…

Now several things to remember when it comes to fantasies….

Fantasies are apart of you. You can share them if you feel comfortable sharing them with a partner or a friend or the people who are in your fantasy (if you know who they are).

Your fantasy may be one that is very intimate, sensual and erotic and your partner or friend maybe willing to try it with you. In fact they may be as turned on as you are…

But… you do need to also remember that when you share those fantasies expect to be rejected, expect your partner to not be interested either. The reason I say this is because your fantasy may be one that just isn’t appealing, it may frighten or scare or upset him/her. It maybe your fantasy and not one that he or she wants to be a part of…

Rejection can hurt… but so can hurting your partner or friend with a fantasy that does not appeal to them and they may let you down because they feel that there is an element of expectation that they should join in and they don’t want to.

I know that this is a different He Does She Does, but I felt I needed to share this especially since many people have friends and partners and new partner that they meet during the holiday season. And it would be wrong to push a fantasy onto them that they really weren’t interested in.

Since I started writing I have written about many fantasies that guys and other girls have had. They often involve threesomes that are safe…

So of course you can imagine what my thoughts were when a fantasy was brought to my attention and it was one that personally didn’t sit well with me. It involved an almost forced type of situation with the main character (no… sorry… no names this time round) put into a situation that was definitely not good and not pleasant for her.

The situation was pretty scary and that person had no idea who really was involved in the wild group sex session. They knew their partner was there and a good friend, but then there were others who the main character couldn’t even object to.

Remember fantasies are good to have, they are good to enjoy but in this day and age it is time to ensure that your fantasies do not hurt people. Fantasies are there to add pleasures to your life, they give you a bonus when it comes to visualizing and enjoying a special fantasy that is your own.

Of course you can share it; you can even live it…. But be realistic when it comes to those fantasies and when it is time to live them, ensure that no one gets hurt.

Ladies… Guys… get a life and try some because until you do you can’t say whether you truly hate it or like it. Some only hear stories about oral sex and believe that it isn’t right, it isn’t clean and so they aren’t willing to try it.

Oral sex is very pleasurable and you will find that if you try it you may like it. I’ve been reading that many are now making oral sex part of their sexual moments together. And they enjoy it. The teenagers of today are partaking in oral pleasures because they find that at least they won’t get pregnant. There are still some risks in partaking in oral sex such as gonorrhea or herpes but they prefer oral sex to the other sexually transmitted diseases with intercourse or anal sex.

This month I found a mature couple and I asked them about oral sex. I asked them if both partners perform oral sex and if they enjoy it and the response was incredible really. I also asked them if there were certain times of the month when they would or wouldn’t do perform oral sex…

Graham is a 50 something guy and he does enjoy giving oral sex to his partner Sally.

Marie, I love oral sex because I love giving Sally as much pleasure as I can and when she climaxes that is when we have wild sex or make passionate love together. Licking her is an experience that you can only appreciate if you enjoy doing it.

I believe a lot of women like Sally also enjoy it when it’s that time of the month for them. You know, when they menstruate. I haven’t told anyone this but I was nicknamed red beard, for reasons I am sure you and your readers will understand. I love giving oral… I just wish Sally felt the same. I know she enjoys receiving it… but I long to feel her suck me and give me the ultimate in pleasures…

Sally is Graham’s partner and she does enjoy receiving oral… but is very hesitant about giving him the same pleasures.

Graham’s already told you that I love oral sex and I do. I find it a very personal experience that couples can share but I have this thing about giving him a blowjob. I’m not sure what it is, I’m not sure if it’s physiological or it’s just something I am scared of doing… I’d love to try it one day and if you have any suggestions that may help me get over that hesitation that would be good. I want to give him as much pleasure as he gives me…

I love oral sex and any time is a good time even during that time of the month. Yep…
I suggested to Sally that perhaps she needs to make the moment one that they will both enjoy together. She needs to get the idea that it’s dirty because she will be sucking the penis which where he pees from. And she needs to remember that when Graham gives her oral sex he is also licking close or over her pee hole when he licks her.

I also suggested that they both shower together before engaging is oral sex. But at the same time instead of jumping straight out of the shower and into giving oral sex, that they kiss and touch and play with each other first. Turning each other on before oral sex will enhance that special moment.

Most men and women will soon discover that oral sex is a very personal experience. Because a lot of women need clitoral stimulation to experience an orgasm, oral sex is a fantastic way to climax.

So if you are hesitant about giving and receiving oral then perhaps it’s time to take the plunge and try it because you really might like it.

I am 45 years old and I have been divorced for almost 2 years now. About a month ago I started seeing one of my son’s friends. I seduced him over the course of about a month prior to that. I really wasn’t sure at the time if I would take it all the way with him as I was still a bit uncomfortable with him being as young as my son, who is 22. Regardless, a month ago it happened, and I ended up sleeping with this young man. What he does with his talented 22 year old tongue is what really turns me on! When I was his age, and I was with my ex husband, men seemed to think sticking their tongue up a pussy is what women wanted. But then, come to think of it, I don’t think most men know what women want nor do they care. My young lover however is either a natural or someone has taught him well. He knows the clit is key to oral sex. His stamina is unparalleled, he can go an hour or more just flicking and licking and sucking my clit. It’s all I can do to hold back my orgasm! Yes, I admit it. I hold them back. I don’t want it to end, and I know the minute I cum my clit will be far too sensitive for his tongue to touch. 
Nancy

I love my wife, but we just haven’t been able to bring back any spark into our sexual life. I know some reading this will think I am some sort of uncaring ass, but the fact remains I love my wife, it’s just a guy needs to have sex! So it is, I met someone online through a personals site. I had no idea at the time I would end up having as much fun as I have. This woman is also married, and like me, she says she is not about to leave her husband. But our sex has been the hottest full blown fuck fest I have ever known! The way she sucks my cock and the way she fucks me is awesome! She is always ready for more too! Not 5 minutes will pass from when I came and she’s back going down on me sucking my limp dick and making it swell in her mouth. Then she mounts me and rides me again. I love pushing up and pinching her tits while she does. She will reach around and grab my balls and hold them until I shoot my load into her cunt again. By the time our little “meeting” is done I swear there isn’t a drop of cum left in me to give.
Matt

My husband turns me on and gets me really wet by licking my toes and legs. I really enjoy it most when he licks that part right underneath my knee. It almost tickles but doesn’t… it’s hard to explain. All I know is it makes my pussy drip!
Connie

I like it a lot when my girlfriend beats me off. She holds it right over her bald pussy and then smears it all over it. We haven’t fucked yet, but I know we will soon. She is afraid of getting pregnant and isn’t on any birth control, so until then her hand jobs will have to do.
Ryan

He Doe want to be part of a swingers group where he can have sex with other women. She Does feel a little bit apprehensive and doesn’t want to be pushed, or She Does feel the need enjoy the extra attention from other men and possibly women and He Does get a little jealous when other men have sex with his wife…

Read on and take note with these all-important notes on swinging in He Does She Does.

If there were one fantasy that is shared by almost every man on the planet it would be the thought of swinging. It seems that every guy at some time in his life entertains the thought of sharing his partner with other guys while at the same time he enjoys sex with those other guys’ partners.

Some guys only dream of it and enjoy the vicarious pleasure that only a secret fantasy can bring. Others actually make the step from fantasy to reality and live their fantasy and still others want to move into reality but just don’t know how to go about it.

It’s interesting to note that many people once they have tried swinging ultimately decide that it wasn’t all they thought it would be and don’t continue on with it while for others it becomes a lifestyle full of fun and excitement.

Let’s look at some ways of making that leap from fantasy to hardcore reality and consider some of the reasons why some people find that they don’t enjoy it quite as much as they thought they would.

First let me say that, while swingers groups can be found just about everywhere, they tend to keep a low profile because there are still many people who feel that swinging is just not socially acceptable That means that actually finding a group in your area can be a little difficult.

Some groups do place discreet ads in their local newspapers but few advertise on a regular basis. One group that I was involved with would only place a very small ad in the adult section of the classifieds a week before the group was going to get together.

Other groups are invitation only and they never advertise. Couples are usually encouraged to attend by other group members and outsiders will rarely hear anything but rumors of groups like that.

And there is the word that stops many guys in their tracks when they try to join a swingers group, ‘couples’. It is very rare for a swingers group to ever be open to single guys. Single girls don’t have a problem but single guys are rarely welcome simply because any group that does accept single guys quickly becomes swamped with men.

That doesn’t mean that swinging is out for single guys, there are some commercial venues that do encourage single guys and I’ll mention a few of those at the end. But to access the more private swingers groups you really do need to be part of a couple.

Of course that opens the way to yet another problem. You want to swing but does your partner? Many women are not receptive to any suggestion of swinging and there are many reasons for that.

Your partner may simply not be interested in having sex with other men. She has one partner and that is all she wants in life. If that is the case then you really must respect her wishes. Forcing her, either directly or with mind games, into doing something she does not want to do will only lead to disaster and turning fantasy into reality becomes turning fantasy into a nightmare.

Your partner may find the prospect of swinging to be quite exciting but she may have personal image problems that prevent her from ever doing anything like that. She may feel that she can’t compete with all the attractive babes she thinks hang out in swingers groups.

If that is the case then talk about the possibility of finding a group that has social evenings for new members. The first group that my partner and I attended ran social evenings and I found that getting together for drinks at a bar was a great way of breaking the ice.

I found that the other women were just ordinary girls, no more and no less attractive than me, and that helped me feel very comfortable and willing to go further. I was also surprised to find that the guys thought I was just as attractive as the others and a trip to the bar with two of them to order drinks turned into a pleasant little grope session.

How do you actually start a conversation with your partner about swinging? Look for an intimate moment, a suggestion of something naughty or cheeky and move on from there. Stress that you want to do it together and it is to be something that you both can enjoy.

It is also worthwhile to point out the social aspects of swinging and the new friendships that can be developed.

Never suggest to your partner that you want to try swinging for some excitement because the first thing that will suggest to her is that you are bored with her. That will raise her insecurity levels to the point where she won’t consider swinging at all.

There is one other reason why your partner may reject the suggestion that you become swingers. She just may know you better than you know yourself. Be realistic here for a moment. How would you really feel if you had to watch your partner getting gang-banged by a group of well-hung men and she was very obviously enjoying it?

Of course, right now you’re going to dismiss that as being of no consequence at all but is it? Think about it, for years she has been faithful to you and you have had an adequate sex life. Now suddenly you’re watching while she is screaming her head off in an orgasm the likes of which you have never been able to give her.

Would you really be comfortable with that?

There is a fine line between a pleasurable reality and a horrible nightmare and jealousy is something that can help you across that line very quickly. So think about it even before you suggest it to your partner and think about it with your brain rather than through the end of your cock.

The other thing to consider when it comes to swinging is sexual health. It may not be exciting and it may not give you a hard-on but you really do need to consider the fact that if you join a swingers group you will be having sex with total strangers and you just don’t know where they have been or who they have had sex with.

There are groups out there that do not practice safe sex and do not require guys to wear condoms. It really is up to you but my advice would be to have nothing to do with groups like that. The risks and dangers are simply too great and nothing can end a beautiful sex life faster than a sexually transmitted disease.

So, if you’re still interested and you want to learn more and have some places on the net that you can take your partner to if she wants to find out more, check out these links.

Wherever you are in the world you should find something listed in your country at The Swinger’s Internet Guide and you can find the guide at:

<http://www.pvwebsex.com/swingers/isgwarn.htm>

If you are looking for swingers’ personals, you can try Pleasant Vices, which you can find on the welcome page at pvwebsex.com

The Swingers Board is another great place for everything involved in the lifestyle. You can find the board at Swingersboard.com

The Couples Club in Sydney has a website - Swingers.com.au - it does cater for single guys and it has a free newsletter that you should find interesting.

The Paradise Club in Sydney cityswingers.net also has an interesting site with some great links.

As you surf those sites and maybe even post on the boards just remember that they are open to everyone. There are people out there who lurk on those boards with a view to ripping off genuine swingers. A couple I know of had to deal with a blackmail attempt after they posted their details and several photos.

As with all things, exercise caution and discretion. Swinging can be the most erotic experience if you are careful and that is what life is all about, having fun but staying safe.

On that note to all readers of He Does She Does, remember sometimes fantasies can come true… and when it comes to swinging, He Does She Does recommends joint decisions when it comes to swinging. Check out the social groups before hand if feeling a little apprehensive. Apart from anything else their nights are a lot of fun when it comes to socializing first.

My hubby is a great looking guy. He has a great body and a wonderful sense of humor about him. I fell in love with him for his smile. Little did I know back then that he could do some of the things he has done to rock my world.  One of the many things he does that turns me on is the way he knows how to lick my pussy. The man definitely has a talented tongue! I am not saying I dated a lot of men in my sexual past, but let me say I have had enough to know that my hubby is very unique in his style and technique of licking clit. What’s even more amazing is the fact he can do it for an hour without coming up for air. He licks, flicks, sucks and twirls at my pussy and clit. Yet, unlike most men, he knows to focus not on my pussy, but rather on my clit. His fast flickering tongue over my clit sends me higher towards climax. The when I am ready to cum, I grab his head with my fingers entangled in his soft brown hair and push his face as hard as I can on to my pussy. He laps all my sweet juice as if he were starving and dying of thirst. Just writing this and thinking about him doing that has made my pussy wet.
Bree

My wife has had this fantasy about doing it with another guy while I watched. I wasn’t to hip on the idea at first. She has been very open to trying a lot of things I wanted to do, so I figured what the heck. All I said to her was it had to be someone from out of town, someone that wouldn’t make me feel insecure. Without going into the whole selection process, we found someone that fit the bill. Remember, I did this because she was the one who thought it would really turn her on. Well watching this guy fuck her ended up turning me on. I sat and jerked off while I watched him ream her cunt and ass. I came when I saw him pumping his cock into her mouth making her take his fucking load. It was something I would do again in a heart beat! I will say, I don’t think doing this is for everyone. My wife and I have a very strong relationship, and we did a lot of talking before hand. If anyone involved at all is the sort that gets jealous, I don’t think this would be a good idea.
Darin

My husband isn’t gay!  We both enjoy anal sex is all. He turns me on by letting me put on a strap-on and fuck him in the ass. I get such a rush out of seeing that dildo going in and out of his tight ass. It makes me feel like I am fucking him!
Connie

My wife turns me on when she swallows my cum. I really like seeing my cum on her tongue. I love how she takes her hand and fingers and rubs it all over her body.
Nathan

You might find this a little crazy, but I love to let my boyfriend dress up in , thigh high stockings, high heel shoes and a teddy. I have him bend over my lap his hard cock hanging between my legs, spanking his ass, I tell him how much of a bad boy he is for wearing women’s sexy clothing. While spanking him I rub his hard dick between my legs telling him he can’t cum until I tell him he can, making him whimper like a little bitch, telling me how sorry he is and he will never do it again. When I think his ass is red enough and he has convinced me he is sorry and will never do it again, I
stick a butt plug up his tight little asshole which makes him shoot his hot load instantly. This to me is a very big turn on!!!
Shelly

A couple times a month I have my wife dress up in one of her short tight leather skirts, black thigh high stockings, a very tight shirt to show off her beautiful cleavage and no panties. She will go to this little Pub 3 blocks from where I work, it is never busy, actually it is a very quiet place. Sitting on a bar stool with her legs crossed facing the entrance door she watches for me to walk in acting as if we don’t know each other. Once I am in the pub I sit at one end of the bar she at the other, she un crosses her legs spreading them just enough for me to get a glimpse of that sweet
little honey pot of hers. Seeing this always makes my cock start to twitch and
swell beyond belief.  I order a drink for my self and have one sent to her.. While the bartender is busy getting our drinks she will tease me by sliding her hand down to her cunt and rub her self.. This is a real turn on for us both knowing at any time someone could see what she was doing, we finish our drinks as fast as possible..
She finishes her drink first, walks over to where I am sitting kissing my cheek placing her hand on my crotch she thanks me for the drink, whispers in my ear, I bet you would like to taste this sweet pussy of mine wouldn’t you? Well follow me home and it shall be done!! Then she turns and walks out the door me right behind her
watching that sweet little ass of hers the whole way out, knowing I will be eating and fucking that tight delicious pussy soon. I think every couple should try it at least once.
Jerry K

I real turn on for me is to come home from work and catch my wife in a 69 position with her best friend on the living room floor, you see her best friend just so happens to be another women. Seeing them lapping at each others cunts, fucking each other with there fingers and dildos, moaning in sheer delight. I have to unzip my pants take my cock out and start beating off as I silently stand there watching the show going on in front of me. Just as I start to get that feeling right before my hot steamy load is about to explode, I clear my throat to let them know I am there, OK which one of you cunt licking bitches wants to drink my cum? As I walk up to them, my wife takes my cock in her mouth not saying a word while she is still grinding her pussy on her friends face and drinks down every drop of my hot jizz, GOD this is the fucking greatest turn on ever I will tell you that!!!!!!
Austin

I am some what of an exhibitionist, it gets me so fucking hot to masturbate knowing there are people watching me. I live across the street from where they are building
a new house. I open the curtains that cover my sliding glass doors in my bedroom right before the men working there go on their lunch break, and I am wearing nothing but a smile.  I start by rubbing my vibrating dildo all around my breast, then slowly down my belly until I reach my pussy. Finding my clit with my finger I start to rub it while I stick the dildo deep into my cunt fucking my self, this is such a turn on knowing that strange men are thinking they are watching me without me knowing
they are doing so. But the jokes on them, I not only know they are watching me and enjoying every bit of what I am doing, but it also makes me have such an intense orgasm. Once I am finished getting off I turn around with the biggest smile on my face and blow them a kiss, waving bye to them and close the drapes and wait until tomorrow for the next show.
Magenta